Lately I have felt very anxious and challenged in my spirit.  For every positive thought, a negative thought crept to mind – almost verging on anger or sometimes annoyance.  I believe it started a couple of weeks ago, but can’t recall a specific trigger that brought it on.  One day I started recognizing my unpleasant thoughts, for no apparent reason – things started annoying me.  Some of those things were prior annoyance that I learned to overcome but yet here they were again, others were new annoyance – so I thought??

Fawn being Fawn, I believe that there is a reason for everything so I kept asking myself why am I getting so worked up.  This was an inner agitation rather an outer agitation, only my spirit could see and feel the weight of it.  What I realized is that I hadn’t done my yoga regularly since first week in December.  Those deep breathing exercises and purposeful movements really helped challenge my energy.  I have done yoga off / on since I was in child, various types of yoga.  I remember my mom enrolling me into a yoga class for children to help calm me, it worked.  As an adult I enjoy Bikrm and Hot Vinyasa yoga, lately more of the Hot Vinaya because Bikram yoga and straighten hair is not a good combination.

The disappointments, annoyances and stressors have always been there and will always be there however I had learned to overcome them through my practices of yoga.  During my drive home today I felt those same negative thoughts attempting to invade my mind again, but tonight I was determined to get back into myself and channel my energy to a better place.  I wasn’t able to make it to yoga class this evening however I was able to turn my living room into my yoga studio for 5 minutes.  I sat still for 5 minutes, focusing on my deep breaths and speaking words of affirmation to myself.   I took time to woosah; calm and relax myself.

I will make it a personal ritual to make sure I get my woosah moments in.  I can’t be the leader that I know I am destined to be by allowing unproductive, toxic and draining thoughts to impact my space.  I am not saying that I still won’t cut someone a look  when they annoy me however I will be quicker to respond with an internal woosah to elevate myself back to my happy place…. baby steps 🙂